June 10, 2010

SAPPY group deals with love and loss of animal friends

By Aimee Villalobos - Staff writer/Northwest Weekly

Julie Wiley will never forget her long-haired Chihuahua, Sappy, who passed away in 2003.

“It doesn't get any easier,” she said. “You love all the pets you have in your life, but with Sappy I really bonded with him through a lot, and he was the first being that I truly loved that I lost.”

After their dog's death, said Wiley, she and her husband were devastated and found themselves alone in their sadness.

“We felt like there was not a place to grieve, especially for a pet,” she said.

She decided to take action, and seven years later the S.A.P.P.Y. Pet Loss & Grief Support Group of San Antonio still meets the fourth Tuesday of each month at the English Tea Shoppe on Bandera Road. The Christian-based support group, Wiley says, pays honor to her “Sappy Wappy” with its acronym, which stands for Someone is Always Praying for Pets and You.

Wiley said many first-timers come to the group with a lot of questions.

“Is it normal that I'm grieving my pet more than, say, mom or dad?” she said. “You leave home, you grow up and start a new life and they (pets) are so much a part of your routine and life that it's okay. It's just the kind of love you had for your pet.”

Wiley said the number of members varies from month to month, but all newcomers receive a packet that includes a candle, grief and loss information as well as a rainbow ornament with the Rainbow Bridge poem, an ode to pets' place in heaven.

Wiley said many struggle with the idea of where their pets end up, something she has been through firsthand.

“I clung to my Bible and searched and asked and wrote a lot of theologians, and I believe they (pets) will see us in heaven,” she said.

Frank and Maureen Ballard have been coming to the group since 2005 when they lost Frieda, a terrier mix.

“I said, ‘We're gonna need some professional help,' Maureen Ballard said. “I burst into tears every few minutes.”

Frank Ballard said he was glad a group like this existed for him and his wife.

“Most people don't understand, and I'm thankful for this group,” he said. “How do you replace a family member? That's the way I look at it.”

Members are encouraged to share their stories and work through the grieving process together.

“The road to healing is easier if you talk about it,” Wiley said. “We're made to support one another.”

Carole Fink lost her dog Junior in 2006 and has attended meetings ever since.

“I said, ‘She's (Julie Wiley) like an angel' because nobody cares, and people think you're silly to cry over a little old dog, but she understood,” she said.

Fink said it has been a lengthy process, but she has found comfort in the group.

“Junior was like my best friend. We went everywhere together,” she said. “He was so deep in my heart. It's been three long years, but I have a new puppy.”

Wiley said people are taking a step towards healing every time they come to a meeting because they are addressing their grief.

“It's a loss. A loss is a loss,” she said. “When you lose your job, you grieve.”

Wiley said there is no timetable to healing, but it does happen.

“I'm a testament to say those million pieces (of your heart) that are crushed heal,” she said.

For more information on the S.A.P.P.Y. Pet Loss & Grief Support Group, visit http://sappypetlosssupportgroup.blogspot.com.

25 comments:

people and pets said...

I believe we will see our pets in heaven. I just bought two books from Amazon. "Will I see Dog in Heaven" by Jack Wintz and Cold noses at the pearly Gates by Gary Kurz. I think they will be a great help in answers this question

Unknown said...

I am looking for help for my sister, Dana. She lives in North Central San Antonio, is disabled, and on social security. Her fur girl, Amber, was just diagnosed with cancer. Dana lives in a very small 1 bedroom apartment with two beautiful Golden Retreivers, Amber and Harley. She was just recently forced to downsize, and this has caused an excercise problem for her pets. Long story short, Amber is suffering in the heat and needs a way to cool down and excercise. Can anyone recommend a lake, pond, creek, pool close to the North Central area which allows pets?

Any help is much appreciated.

Debie
Email: debie@bestpetlink.com
Seattle
425-443-9066

Lesley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lesley said...

I just lost my pet last night and I feel like I can't function. I wish this feeling would go away. I just miss her so much and feel like she's still here and isn't really gone.

Sappy in 2001 said...

You will see you pets again in Heaven. We are strong believers of this. Please know that you have been in our prayers. If you live in the San Antonio area, please join us for this year's Tribute to Tails Candlelight Memorial, Saturday, Dec. 4, 6 p.m., The English Tea Shoppe, 4242 Bluemel Rd., San Antonio, TX. Please call us if you need more info - 210-216-0920. Also, join us on Facebook: Tribute to Tails San Antonio.

Ruby Taylor said...

Life and things are temporary, but memories live on forever. when the time is right, do get another pet. Sure, you risk getting hurt again when your new pet dies, put it's worth the price, don't you think? Would you have foregone the joys of having and loving your lost pet just because you knew he would die one day? The act of bringing a new animal into your life shows courage, strength, and hope for the future. Your heart is big enough to eventually welcome another animal to your side, even if you ultimately must endure the loss of pet again. Thanks for starting this thread and share your experiences with us.

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